Written by: Brynn Carrell

As leaders in the field of early childhood education, I’m sure it is safe to say we all have had our fair share of experiences with challenging parents and dealing with conflict resolution. The question is how do we maintain professionalism and demonstrate strong leadership skills all while still meeting the specific needs of our families?  

There are two specific topics to address in this area: the high maintenance parent and conflict resolution. Both can be extremely challenging and definitely the less glamorous aspects of our job as Director. When faced with these challenges I consistently try to remind myself that there is nothing in the world more important to these parents than their children. With that being said, leading the conversation with the child’s best interest at heart will always help find a common ground with parents. Let’s break this down a little…

The High Maintenance Parent

We have all had them! My experience with the high maintenance parent is typically one that requires a lot of additional TIME. I have found that the best way to handle this is to support your educators. Help them to create clear and concise boundaries from the beginning. What should their drop off and pick up procedures look like? What is a reasonable amount of parent communication that teachers can provide during these times of the day? The same boundaries apply for administration.

High maintenance parents are seeking connection. The more we can do to build trust with these families and help them to feel connected to the school and the classrooms throughout the day, the sooner you will see them backing away from their high maintenance requests. Connection is everything! If teachers can take an extra moment to send a picture or quick email on their terms it will go a long way.

Another area of focus for these families is attention to detail. These are the parents that want to know everything, such as, how much their child ate at lunch, what time their diaper was changed, and who they played with on the playground. Knowing these details will be important to building the connection that will foster a trusting relationship.

Conflict resolution

There is nothing worse than receiving a tough email or having a parent come to the front desk angry about something that happened. There are a few steps that I always try to follow when addressing problems with parents: Disarm, Support, and Resolve.

Disarm

First and foremost always do what you can to disarm a parent. Address the problem directly. This means calling them on the phone or discussing the problem in person. I never respond to a problem in an email. I find that tone can be misconstrued and it is a lot easier to find resolve if you are having a direct conversation.

Always, try to find a private space to have a conversation. Whether this be in an office or conference room, you want to make sure that the parents’ concerns are private and respected. If possible, sit down. It is so much easier to keep things calm and collected if you are sitting and having a conversation.

Support

Support is the most important part of conflict resolution. The very best way to do this is to listen unconditionally and truly hear what they have to say. Acknowledge what they are feeling and what they are experiencing. Provide any insight you may have. Be careful not to provide excuses, but more so an explanation of what or how the situation could have occurred. Always support your educators, and never place blame. 

Resolve

Make a plan to fix the problem. Maybe this is a classroom change for a child, maybe this is additional training for a new teacher, maybe this is communicating with a teaching team then having a follow up with the family in a couple of weeks to monitor the progress. Whatever the plan is, follow through is key. The family wants to know they can trust your leadership and that you are capable of resolving their issue. 

Handling difficult parents will always be a part of this industry. The key to success is to always focus on the child first!

Prior blog posts:

• Are you prepared for the new minimum salary rule?
• How to Handle Difficult Parents
• The Importance of Strong Financials – Part 2
• Keep Calm and Comply On… Licensing Is Here!
• The Importance of Strong Financials – Part 1